“Why don’t you know your favorite food ?” I usually asked this question to my mom. I wanted to make her feel special so, I wanted to cook her favorite dish. But, every time I asked What is your favorite food Mom? she never replied. I wondered Why? because I believed everyone has their favorite food.
This seems to be a simple context. But today, I somehow relate to her situation and can say why she didn’t have her favorites.
When I think about all those things now, I can say that my Mom didn’t know what’s her favorite or didn’t want to share what’s her favorite, may be because no one has asked her before. She might have to give up on her favorites because of numerous reasons. My dad might not have cared about it at all. This could have been one of the reason or the only reason. Or, my mom might have got tired of saying it again and again.
I usually feel the same way now. After all these years of marriage, whenever my feelings are ignored by the most trusted person, I feel like not expecting anything from anyone. And when this repeatedly occurs, I feel like I will get tired and might forget What I like? just like my mom.
Does marriage has to be like this?, where you lose every bit of your identity from tiny of your favorites to the huge choices.
If I have to answer this I would say “No”, because I have seen couple who are married and still falling in love everyday. I have seen partners going head over heels for each other. I have seen a husband travelling miles only to make his wife feel safe just after one phone call. I have seen a boy who still want to be with same girl even after decades long relationship. I have seen partners doing things each other like to make them feel special. So, my answer is no.
